And Here I Sit....

....after wrapping eleven presents, my tiny fingers sore from all the taping and cutting and marking, my eyes bugging from the strain of looking at all those presents, my ears full of the sounds of O Holy Night by Johnny Mathis.

I'd like to inform my eight faithful readers that O Holy Night friggin rules as a Christmas song. I Napstered two versions....the one by Johnny Mathis and another by Michael Ball. That song was made for a male vocalist.

As much as I love O Holy Night, it still isnt my all time favorite. That honor goes to "Little Drummer Boy". I realize I am the only person alive who has undying devotion for that song but I do and I dont care what the rest of the world thinks. It has nothing to do with the "drummer" aspect of the song...my love comes from the song's theme that it aint about the possessions....it's whats inside that you have to offer which counts.

Now that I've just disavowed having possessions at Christmas, let's get back to the presents, shall we?

Those of you who have been keeping score know that, with the eleven tonight, there are now a total of 14 presents under the Mr. Helpful tree. They are split evenly between the pride and joy and the pride and joyette.

By the way, ONE of you faithful readers must have called my son and told him of my previous post concerning the original three presents under the tree because I was talking to him last night and he mentioned how happy he was that I was once again properly motivated at Christmas time as the last time I wasnt properly motivated, I gave him a boobie mug for one of his presents. He was quick to add that he was quite grateful for the boobie mug however it did leave him wondering what in the hell he ever did to me to deserve such a gift. Of course I had forgotten all about that one but it certainly gave me some ideas for THIS year.

So...once again, I ask that each and every one of you take a blood oath not to tell the pride and joy about this bounty which is about to befall him. This is supposed to be a surprise, ya know? As in he's not supposed to have a clue he is even getting presents at Christmas. Mum's the word, eh? Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

And to those of you who are whispering to yourself, "SEVEN PRESENTS? I dont even get out of bed for seven presents" let me just say that whispering to yourself is a sign of something, although I am not sure what that something is, it certainly cant be good so you really shouldnt be whispering to yourself rather maybe you should go volunteer at a local homeless shelter or something, ya know?

Heh heh heh....

When I am properly motivated at Christmas, I like to have a little fun with the presents. This generally takes the form of opening them in a certain order and this year will be no different. My kids are a little too old to be running all over the apartment, following clues and wondering what in the hell is behind the next door so I will just have to creatively order the presents so they build in excitement.

Of course that begs the question, how much fun can 14 lumps of coal really be?

Heh heh heh....

Posted by Mr. Helpful at December 10, 2003 10:22 PM