Easy Come Easy Go

It is my sad duty to inform you, the eight faithful readers, that comments have been temporarily disabled.

There are many things which take place behind the scenes at a high powered blog such as this one...things that the readers dont realize take place.

For instance, in order to maintain a high level of quality, I stand at the window of the offices of Mr. Helpful Enterprises for hours on end, staring out into the distance, at nothing in particular. I do this so you will have only the best to read when you drift over to this tiny corner of the universe.

Another thing I do which you may not know about is I stack tiny objects in the corner of my dining room. Once the stack reaches a certain height, I knock it down and start over. Other times I stand on street corners and ask people if they have any spare change. Yet other times I have been known to climb tall buildings only using a pickax and a shovel. Again, these things are done only in the name of making sure that my readers get the best I have to offer.

These kinds of sacrifices I make willingly and with sound mind and body although I'm not too sure about how committed my big toe is to the whole thing. The point is these kinds of activities keep my mind pure and my body in peak physical condition so when I sit down to write a post for Mr. Helpful, you can be sure I'm only drooling a little bit, not so much that anyone would notice.

There is one thing, though, that I didnt sign up for when I started this blog and that is the infiltration of comment spammers. These dick fucks set computer bots loose into the blog-o-sphere whose sole purpose is to dig into the comment.cgi file and leave massive numbers of comments, all of which connect the reader to some dumbass web site if the link contained therein is clicked.

There are a few ways of stopping these beasts, some more effective than others. The problem is the most effective ways involve messing with the site's internal code or upgrading to newer versions of the publishing software which also require messing with the site's internal code. I am good at a lot of things however messing with the site's internal code is not one of those things.

Therefore, for quite some time now, Ive shouldered the burden of dealing with comment spam quietly. Ive only been bombed once with really bad stuff...that instance being where they hit every post I had on the site. Most of the time I will see a hit of twenty or thirty comments. I then take the time to go back through and delete these comments.

Unfortunately, Ive spent the better part of the past two nights deleting some 400 comments from some dickwad site called greatnow.com. It is because of this particular spam bomb that Ive decided to close down commenting functions for the time being. You can still comment and I will post your comments however you have to email them to me.

Having to do this annoys me to no end because I really, really enjoy the public interaction with my readers. I really dont have any choice at this point because huge spam bombs annoy me even more. So comments are shut down for the time being until I come up with an alternate plan. In the meantime, if there is anyone who wants to offer their assistance, I am all ears...er...teeth...er...fingers....er...uh...you get the idea.

Posted by Mr. Helpful at August 9, 2004 11:30 PM